•≈ Snowak
Saturday, 2 February 2008
Getting up as the dawn spread low across open ground, after storm force winds tearing up the far Northern tips of the Hebrides subside, we were faced with blizzards & subsequently cancellation of guiding the adult group over to Barra in kayaks. I also now have additional students, one aged 13 & female, the other 14, & male, brother & sister & being that age, they have a totally cool trampoline, but these recent baltic conditions & giant reeks of swell are no place for the novice at sea, adult or child. Tomorrow I will give them a solo demonstration of big surf rolling & handling skills, whatever conditions come this way. To amuse them for today, & in part, myself, I took to producing a comedy demo, & it so happens, that -
Today there was a chance to perform some Greenlandic Snow'aking skills. In figure 01, notice the aloof yet balanced mental state of the Greenlandic snow'aker as he performs a reverse sweeping stroke with half a shitty euro paddle. Good at clearing paths. Facial poise is everything in this tricky manoeuvre. Please note, when in this position, it is virtually impossible to sneak up on the Greenlandic snow'aker:

Fig 01: Aloof yet spatially aware...

Figure 02 shows the graceful finishing position after a snow'aking hand roll. Note how there is no snowball held in the forward gauntlet. Having made a complete roll without dropping the snowball, two-step deftly avoiding a random henge in the background, our Greenlandic snow'aker has tossed it exuberantly into the air & is waiting to catch it in his teeth. Our Greenlandic snow'aker is a veritable ballerina of grace, as the photo clearly shows beyond contestation. Do not try to perform this stunt without first wearing a substantial porn tash.

Fig 02: The reluctant ballerina

Figure 03. Of course, no matter how proficient the Greenlandic snow'aker becomes, no matter how in tune & zen'd up with his enviroment & oneness....there is always, always, the need for speed. A determined grimace will add at least half a knot to his performance, resulting an unprecedented turn of speed. This phenomena is not solely exclusive to Greenlandic snow'aking, indeed, riding supermarket trollies out of, or around the Coop at break-neck speed is merely a hybrid variation of this ancient art. As is anything to do with Nuuk airport.

Fig 03: Last to the beef stewpot? I don't think so...

Well that's all folks, & it simply falls to our Greenlandic snow'aker to quote a fine wisdom from the mind of Björn Thomasson: In Greenlandic snow'aking, it pays not to be to elitist, just so long as you understand that we are better at it than you.

That's all folks...

posted by •≈ Sgian Dubh at 08:27:00 |

0 Retorts: